I'm Transgender

Let me explain before you disown me!!!!

PLEASE please read this page all the way through! I put a lot of effort into explaining myself so that my loved ones can understand me better.

Why?

It's EXACTLY what you're asking, isn't it?
This is going to be disappointing, but there is no easy answer to that. Why do you want to identify with your gender? It's a hard question, isn't it?

My Identity

Before covid, if I remember correctly, I had been figuring myself out. It was middle school. My identity got kind of crazy, but the pipeline basically went like this:
Lesbian > Bisexual > Trans & Queer
I like the term 'queer,' but I guess you could still call me gay. Yes they are two different things, no I'm not explaining right now but I will say that 'queer' can be an offensive term when used on certain people! Not for me, though.
I want to say that I had always had a feeling that I was not what I was born to be, but I can't remember worrying about my gender during my childhood. It was mostly middle school wher I realized that maybe I was different, hence the pipeline... Right now, though, I don't feel right. I feel out of place, and I want to represent who I am on the inside to the world around me.
Being trans is sort of like being forced into clothing that is a few sizes too small, being so uncomfortable while everyone around you comments on how pretty you look in that outfit. That's the easiest way I could explain it to a non-trans person. It's near impossible to explain being trans to someone who isn't, I just hope that you guys keep an open mind regardless. If you don't, and now you hate me or something or feel uncomfortable around me because of it, that's fine. Don't talk to me anymore! I don't want to be associated with you any more than you want to be with me if you act that way, in the nicest way possible. Keep it simple, I do not want to fight, I just want to express myself peacefully because I deserve it just as much as you do. I am human.

The Future

I do plan on getting surgery in the future, and I plan on taking testosterone too. Though, my surgery won't come until much, MUCH later in my life! As for taking testosterone, I would like to start soon because I'm eighteen now.
If you decide to associate with me after I start testosterone, PLEASE be patient with me!!! When someone starts doing hormone replacement therapy (HRT), they go through puberty again -- It's called second puberty (how original!)
I will provide some educational links if anybody is interested in learning more about being transgender or the surgeries. I would eventually like to change my name, but I will always keep 'Hala' as my middle name. I don't mind my family calling me Hala even if my first name is different, but it's just going to be a nickname :) Currently, my friends and my boyfriend call me Adam, but I'm not sure if that will stay. I've liked that name for a while now, but I've put together a list of names I also like. Maybe you guys can vote on which one is most "me," that'd be cool. But if you're just gonna call me Hala, I don't think it matters much.

Your Feelings

I don't know how you feel about this. Some people get angry, some get sad, and some people are accepting. If you want to grieve who I was before, go ahead. I haven't really changed anything but my gender identity, so I don't really know what you'd mourn about girl Hala... But hey, cry or whatever. I don't really care as long as you 1. aren't beating the hell out of me for being myself and 2. not telling me how SINFUL this is or something. Seriously PLEASE DON'T DO THAT IT PISSES ME OFF A LOT LOL I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD ANYMORE.

Educational Links